Skin in the Game

The first month of the year is almost finished–how am I doing?

I just finished listening to “Feel Good Productivity” by Ali Abdaal. I was very excited to read the book as I love Ali’s Youtube videos. I even got the book both on Kindle and as an audio book. Although it was harder to listen to than I expected, it had some good take aways too. Anyway, he talked about doing hypothetical year-end reviews as a way to visualise what you need to do to get to your goal. I thought I’d do a version of that to do an actual review of my month this January.

In his review, he used the wheel of life like below:

Health

BODY:

Exercise: In the last month (actually a few months now), I have been going to the gym fairly regularly. I had two weeks of some kind of a break though on the account of the baby getting sick, and then us getting sick, but otherwise I feel that I am in the right track in this department.

Diet: I have been eating better too. Again, I feel like I got a bit off track while the household was sick, but otherwise also in the right track in this department.

Self-Care: When I say self-care here, I mean skin care, getting enough sleep, putting more effort to getting ready, etc. Let’s just say I can definitely do better.

MIND & SOUL:

I’m not quite sure how to review mind and soul so I’ll group them together for now. For me this includes, peace of mind, sense of happiness, sense of accomplishment, enriching my mind, etc. It’s all still very vague to me but perhaps if I keep doing this regularly, I’ll have a better understanding of what it means.

With respect to peace of mind and sense of hapiness, it’s generally been good. I have a beautiful, healthy, and lovable daughter who brings us so much joy. I have a supportive, loving, and easy-going husband who I get along with so well. We have our challenges, but know objectively that in the bigger scheme of things, we are very lucky to be where we are in life. Having said that, I feel like we do not appreciate what we have enough. I know it’s normal to have ups and downs, but given how blessed we are, I feel like I could be happier and more grateful about life.

With respect to sense of accomplishment and enriching my mind, it’s also very subjective to my day-to-day situations, which I know it shouldn’t be. Objectively speaking, I am doing great. But I often fall in this trap of comparing myself to others, minimising what I have accomplished, and making myself feel like a failure. I always make myself feel like I can and should do more, I should try harder. I probably could, but should I? I think I need to review my expectations and be really clear about what I am trying to achieve here. Because at this point, it sometimes feel like I am just constantly aiming for more.

Work

MISSION / CAREER / GROWTH

Work is doing great. I am feeling very stressed and tired a lot though. I feel like I am taking on more than I would like. To give you an idea, before starting working full-time for my current employer, I used to run my own consulting. Now that I am working full-time, I have stopped advertising my consulting, but am still supporting a handful of old clients when they need my help. I am also trying to start a few businesses on the side, which have not been progressing much really as my time is just enough to work on my full-time job.

I need to review this and re-assess if I really need to be doing all of these. If I only did my full-time job, I would probably be so much less stressed, and would be a happier person with energy. I just find I am so tired all the time. (Not to mention I also have a 1 year old baby).

In summary for this category, I can definitely do better.

MONEY

Money is okay. Not great, but okay. I earn well enough to afford some simple luxuries like eating out a lot, paying for good childcare for my daughter, paying for a personal trainer, supporting my dad, etc. When I put it like that I feel like I should not be complaining about money, but here I am just about to.

We live in a part of the world where things are very expensive. We don’t live in an expensive house, my husband and I drive and share a second-hand car, we don’t go on expensive trips, etc. But it still feels like we can’t stop working. I suppose it’s like this for many people, and it’s not really something I should be complaining about. But it does feel my husband and I work so hard all the time, but we are just cruising–not struggling but also not really getting ahead.

I can definietly do better in this department, starting with following a budget and being more conscious about what we spend our money on.

Relationships

ROMANCE

We’re alright. It’s hard to keep the romance when you have just had a baby, but all things considered, my husband and I are good. Since having the baby, we have really become a family. We love and respect each other, and are loyal to each other. We can probably put more effort in spending romatic time with each other (and I don’t mean just sex), but actually going on dates, getting ready for each other, etc.

So overall, we are good, but can do better.

FAMILY

Family is also good from both sides of our family–my side and my husband’s side. My side of the family has always been pretty solid. We’re pretty low maintenance–not a lot of drama, but know that we will always have each other. My husband’s side of the family is the same. I’m not very close with the siblings, but love his parents very much. Not much to say in this department. I guess that’s good?

FRIENDS

I don’t have many friends where I live now. I move here 8 years ago. I have worked from home since and it’s been hard to make new friends like this. I would like to have more friends. But I am not stressing too much about it anymore. I am too busy and too tired to make and maintain genuine connections. I figured, the best kind of friend I can have is one who can be friends with me as I am now–busy and tired all the time. Not to say I will not put in any effort–if there’s an opportunity, I will have an open heart to welcome a new friend. But I will just not go out of my way to search for bffs.

The Verdict

I am doing alright, but can do better. haha what a meh verdict. So fitting. :p